Religious Jester Gifts

Monk with bottle-opener around his neck.

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Books / Coffee table books

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Excommunicate Me.

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Noah's Nark.

'I said that I didn't want to be interrupted...'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"He may only be three years old, but he has 21 years of tech experience."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

Poet's Corner

We're prepared to offer you a starting salary in the low six figures...if you count the decimal.

"I've decided to be an organ donor."

'Open your mouth and say 'Ah' -- I'm going to try some anti-virus software.'

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

"The long prayer peek."

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

"We're trying to save your husband."