Holy Jester Gifts

Excommunicate Me.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

At the 2021 Religious Games

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

Fishing Contest

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

So I said, If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving you too much. Apparently, that's not what you're supposed to say to a traffic court judge.

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

Pin your hopes and dreams on the donkey

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'You told me I should be more affectionate, so I got myself two girlfriends!'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"

Another wedding

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man