Philosophical Joker Gifts

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

Center for Reincarnation Studies. Welcome back.

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

"See how it feels"

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

Eucharist

'Good book?'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

Skywriter's Block

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

Sartre's E-Mail

''IQ'? -- I thought this was a haiku test!'

"My art raises complex tissues."

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

I never had a pony, Dr. Kapuchnik. Get over it, Al. Tastes like chicken.

'Egg toss, I thought this was the water balloon toss?'

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

First Church: Today's Sermon - Sinners Looking At Their Smartphones Instead of Listening To The Sermon Will Go Straight To Hell.

European Thinkers (2): 'Surf's up!'

Almost Your Time.

Politics Books

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."