Philosophical Joker Gifts

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"See how it feels"

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Eucharist

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'Good book?'

Skywriter's Block

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

''IQ'? -- I thought this was a haiku test!'

"My art raises complex tissues."

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

"No, it's great. I'm just saying 'The Gospel of St. Luke' is an ambitious title for a first-time self-publisher."

Almost Your Time.

Politics Books

First Church: Today's Sermon - Sinners Looking At Their Smartphones Instead of Listening To The Sermon Will Go Straight To Hell.

European Thinkers (2): 'Surf's up!'

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

"I'm no doctor, but it looks like the poor guy's got coronavirus."

"If my writing reflected my reading, I'd probably just be writing menus."

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

"I can't tell from this far away, but he's either enlightened or dead."