Philosophy Joker Gifts

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

E=Emcee Squared

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

"My art raises complex tissues."

'You see! I told you there was a school right beneath us!'

I never had a pony, Dr. Kapuchnik. Get over it, Al. Tastes like chicken.

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

Cheating Death

"I've heard some bad things about judge Shaw's court."

School. That vocabulary quiz was hard! Did you know how to use "gruesome" in a sentence? It was simple. "The gardener likes flowers so he gruesome."

European Thinkers (2): 'Surf's up!'

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

"Let me remind you that you have the right to remain silent."

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

'Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?'

'Hey, I know what -- Let's have an enlightenment telethon!'

"I have a great idea for you, but naturally you're nowhere near your writing desk."

While you were out of body.

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life! That's a lot of stress to deal with."

Niels Bohr, Albert Einstein and Ernest Rutherford talking shop.

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

'He thinks he's so superior, just because he's the only one here with 'O' level science.'

Anti-social networking

'Today's retribution level is LOW.'

'THis is where the boys used to gamble. By the looks of things, they lost a lot more than just their shirts.'

Heaven or Hell Wheel.

'I cut a hole in the umbrella so I can tell when it quits raining!'

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