Jurisprudence Joker Gifts

"Let me remind you that you have the right to remain silent."

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

"I've heard some bad things about judge Shaw's court."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

Arrogant junior barrister

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"Repeat after me..."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

McWit Legal College

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'My client asserts that walking on land was his idea and he therefore claims 50% of all subsequent profits.'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

"C'mon man, you got the wrong species."

'Hey, it won't be so bad -- why, I'm doing community service myself right now.'