Jurisprudence Jokester Gifts

'Whatever you do, don't let them see the real you.'

McWit Legal College

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

Justice

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

"Guilty times infinity."

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

Small Clams Court

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"Move to strike as non-responsive."

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?