Law Jokesters Gifts

'Admit it,you've been driving over the limit again,haven't you!'

HEY!

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Justice

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

McWit Legal College

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

We Remove Lawyer Residue

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

'Me, I'm here for perjury: I said I couldn't remember while under oath...'

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"