Law Jokers Gifts

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'If you can read this you're breaking the law by walking on the grass.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Photobooth Photobomb

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"How many surprise witnesses do you have in that little car?"

We Remove Lawyer Residue

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen