Jurisprudence Jokers Gifts

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

McWit Legal College

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'My client asserts that walking on land was his idea and he therefore claims 50% of all subsequent profits.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

'You say you saw my client do it. OK, but what if the jury doesn't believe you? Try to think outside the witness box.'

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

The Jury Decides.

'I'm only doing pro-bono cases until I can find some well-paying anti-bono cases.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

"It was 'im wot ruffled me bonce, judge, as I was politely getting into 'is car."