Jurisprudence Jokesters Gifts

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

Justice

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

McWit Legal College

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"Guilty times infinity."

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

'I know you're tired of hearing the same old political cliches, but I believe in recycling.'

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

!. Exclamation point overrulled.

Small Clams Court

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

I swear to tell the truth, but not solemnly.