Jurisprudence Jokesters Gifts

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

Justice

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

McWit Legal College

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"Guilty times infinity."

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I know you're tired of hearing the same old political cliches, but I believe in recycling.'

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Small Clams Court

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

'If the members of the jury would look under their seats, they will all find a lovely gift from my client. . .'