Lawful Joker Gifts

'I was an attorney but that fizzled out. Apparently I couldn't distinguish between legal and illegal.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

'Court's in recess!'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Shoes Make The Man

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."