Lawful Jesters Gifts

"The cops were on to him"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

McWit Legal College

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

"How many surprise witnesses do you have in that little car?"

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

'He's training for a career in law.'

"Got outta jury duty!"

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"One ventriloquist dummy on trial for murder and we believe you had a hand in it."

Whosoever draweth out the publishing, recording, and distribution contracts from the stone shall forever be acknowledged as the Duke of Earl, and nothing can stop him.

"Overruled!"