Lawful Jesters Pillows

"The cops were on to him"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"Instead of 'fraudulent,' the defendant requests that you refer to him as 'fluent in the ancient language of duplicity!'"

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

McWit Legal College

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

"How many surprise witnesses do you have in that little car?"

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

'He's training for a career in law.'

"Got outta jury duty!"

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

'Your Honour, I think I've got something that will satisfy you and the jury.'

"One ventriloquist dummy on trial for murder and we believe you had a hand in it."

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

"Overruled!"