Law Jokesters Pillows

'Admit it,you've been driving over the limit again,haven't you!'

HEY!

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

McWit Legal College

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

We Remove Lawyer Residue

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

'Me, I'm here for perjury: I said I couldn't remember while under oath...'

"Your honor, I'd like to request a new defense attorney!"

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."