Law Jokester Pillows

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

for crying out loud officer its a wax mannequin

"Your letters are clear and to the point. I'd like you to make them more confusing, that way we can charge our clients an additional 'explanation fee'."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

McWit Legal College

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

We Remove Lawyer Residue

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

"Guilty times infinity."

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

!. Exclamation point overrulled.

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