Judicial Jokester Pillows

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'It's a thin line between love and contempt of court, your honor.'

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

"I just love that new class action lawsuit smell."

Boy accused of vandalism pleads 'limited liability'

'Maybe taking the immigration case is a bad idea.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'Throw yourself on the mercy of the court...'

'YOU again?'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

Justice

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Arrogant junior barrister

Antonin Scalia

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

McWit Legal College

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Judge

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'