Judiciary Jokester Pillows

Arrogant junior barrister

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Impartiality becomes you."

Antonin Scalia

Justice

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

McWit Legal College

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Judge

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

"Guilty times infinity."

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

Small Clams Court