Judicial Joke Lover Pillows

'Look, it has to be 'guilty' or 'not guilty' - you can't plead 'I don't want to talk about it.'!'

'We find him guilty... but hey... we could be wrong!'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"Impartiality becomes you."

Justice

Antonin Scalia

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"Simple yes or no. Are the cartoons funny?"

Judge

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

We Remove Lawyer Residue

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

'We find the defendant guilty, the defense a showboater and the DA a legal mal-practitioner.'

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

Computer questionning a witness.

Man looking at the cartes de visite of the lawyers in chancery lane

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

I know what you mean

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

'Unzip your pants. . .while you're here, I want to pay up my bill in full.'

'I'm sure the Senate will affirm my action.'

'Oh, boy!'

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

'Case dismissed! -- I just reached retirement age!'