Lawful Jokester Pillows

'You're a lawyer? Well, are ;you here on vacation or just here for the refresher course?'

'So -- do you always walk right into judges' courtrooms without wiping your feet?'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Justice

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

McWit Legal College

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

"Guilty times infinity."

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

"It's nice to see the police toughening up on juvenile crime."

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.