Justice Joker Gifts

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"All right, you're free to go. We're in this for the sport - catch and release only."

'If the truth will set you free, what's the deal with the Fifth Amendment?'

Low Class Action Suit

How future cases will be decided if there is a 4-4 tie.

"My client pleads not guilty by reason that the other kid started it."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'I'm sorry, but a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card holds no sway in this court.'

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'Good news - we can enter an appeal! I just found out that the judge as well as the jury were vegetarians!'

'No, I'm not part of an elaborate kickback scheme.'

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'The whole hand, Mr. Tamano.'

Decision on the flip of a coin...

Malpractice makes perfect.

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'

'Being politically correct, we find the defendant not innocent.'

"Are you really, really sorry?"

The 'Lifer' Pencil

"At least my lawyer got two years more than me."

"..and we hope that for a cyber-crime, you will consider imposing a cyber-penalty."

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"The people thank and excuse juror number 2."

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

Trial Mix.

I went to a very special school, you had to be sent there by a judge!

"We find the defendant guilty on all charges, Your Honor. On the positive side, we really liked his openness and energy."

Lying in court is a very serious matter. Mr. Fusco. I can assure you that I take it very seriously, your honor. If I didn

Would you like some more coffee, judge? If you think you can get me to rule in your favor by bribing me with coffee, you're sadly mistaken, Mr. Fusco. Throw in a danish and we'll talk.

"Is that a growl I hear in your voice?"

"I've forgiven the president. Perhaps you could forgive me."