Justice Joker Pillows

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"All right, you're free to go. We're in this for the sport - catch and release only."

'If the truth will set you free, what's the deal with the Fifth Amendment?'

How future cases will be decided if there is a 4-4 tie.

Low Class Action Suit

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"My client pleads not guilty by reason that the other kid started it."

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'Good news - we can enter an appeal! I just found out that the judge as well as the jury were vegetarians!'

'No, I'm not part of an elaborate kickback scheme.'

Malpractice makes perfect.

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'The whole hand, Mr. Tamano.'

"We find the defendant guilty on all charges, Your Honor. On the positive side, we really liked his openness and energy."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"Are you really, really sorry?"

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

"..and we hope that for a cyber-crime, you will consider imposing a cyber-penalty."

'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'

"The people thank and excuse juror number 2."

Trial Mix.

I went to a very special school, you had to be sent there by a judge!

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'Being politically correct, we find the defendant not innocent.'

The 'Lifer' Pencil

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"At least my lawyer got two years more than me."

"Hey! You're pinching me!"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about the law of the jungle—not guilty."

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, let me present the alternative facts of the case."

"No, I don't think your decisions are too Draconian. Do you think my decisions are too Draconian?"

Accusing.