Justice System Joker Pillows

'But, Your Honor -- parole violation is a victimless crime!'

'The prisons are full, so we're going to chain you to a mailbox.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"Not guilty?"

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Repeat after me..."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'Don't worry, you're a politician. You'll have no trouble pleading insanity.'

'I got 10 years and my lawyer got 15!'

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'Hey, it won't be so bad -- why, I'm doing community service myself right now.'