Law And Order Joker Pillows

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

Joust Sharpener

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Repeat after me..."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

Adult Absence Notes.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

Judge chasing fly with gavel.

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

Toilet humour

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

'For years I thought it was the 'Supremes Court' and decisions were made by three women singing Motown.'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'