Judo Joker Pillows

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

Judo man.

Overjumpers

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Banana Split...

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'How about a game of cards?'

Joust Sharpener

"OK, ready to go again?"

Get crazy once in a while

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'Hole in one!!!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Remember me?'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'You may now kick the bride.'

Jogging Bottoms

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Old Karate Master

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'