Jogging Joker Pillows

"I don't think I can make the finish line, so I'm going back!"

Two men are jogging. One is noticing 'Danger Wide Load' sign on back of other.

'I'm sorry caller, I'm afraid he's on the other line at the moment.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Two men are jogging. One is noticing 'Danger Wide Load' sign on back of other.

'Are we having fun yet...'

False encouragement.

'Let 'em go. They're joggers. Nothing but gristle and bones.'

"He's exercising his right to be wrong."

Runners have a pay toll.

'I never thought I'd say this, but I think we ran too far this time.'

'Nothing. Zip. Nada... Dude, none of these marathoners are carrying cigarettes!'

George finally found some friends who could keep pace with his rigorous training.'

"Sorry I'm late for your birthday. I'm running a little behind."

A short lived romance: 'Yes, but just once around the park.'

'I'm sorry you got disqualified from the marathon dear.' 'That's OK. I just wish they clearly stated the rules to you before you entered...that way nobody ends up making a fool of themselves.'

Professor Axxis feels naked jogging without his toupee.

'Want the perfect diet?Don't eat while your wife's on the phone!'

'I wished I'd known about this club last week. I'm really stressed out at my job!'

"Back from your jog already? I thought you were going to go for the burn."

Jogging incentives.

Banana Split...

'Honest, I wasn't chasing the cat - we're jogging buddies!'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"When I put the liniment on, that's when I really feel the burn!"

Running With Scissors Marathon

"I'm taking no chances."

Hypochondria: Race for the cure.

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."

Jogging Bottoms

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Bob realizes he's running with a bad crowd.

I'm posting my jogging time on Facebook. Ah, a "ran some" note!