Judo Jester Pillows

Martial Arts

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Joust Sharpener

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Women in a cross country race

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

Tennis ball girl.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'He started it!'