Judo Jester Gifts

Martial Arts

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Joust Sharpener

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Women in a cross country race

A woman takes a pterodactyl on a run.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Wheeeeeeee!"

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

Tennis ball girl.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'