Theology Joker Gifts

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

E=Emcee Squared

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Toilet humour

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

Eucharist

'Good book?'

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

Skywriter's Block

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'A room with double beds, please.'