Philosophy Joker Pillows

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

E=Emcee Squared

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'Socrates, you've been drinking again.'

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

"You've just proven that your job doesn't exist."

"My art raises complex tissues."

Cheating Death

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

European Thinkers (2): 'Surf's up!'

"I've heard some bad things about judge Shaw's court."

"I started my vegetarianism for health reasons, then it became a moral choice, and now it's just to annoy people."

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

"I don't like to complain, but he should've created some jobs, too."

"Let me remind you that you have the right to remain silent."

'Hey, I know what -- Let's have an enlightenment telethon!'

"I have a great idea for you, but naturally you're nowhere near your writing desk."

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life! That's a lot of stress to deal with."

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

'I cut a hole in the umbrella so I can tell when it quits raining!'

'Today's retribution level is LOW.'

'He thinks he's so superior, just because he's the only one here with 'O' level science.'

Anti-social networking

"Half my students have Post Assessment Stress Disorder."