Existential Joker Gifts

Well, you know what they say? Aspire to inspire before you expire.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'You know too much,'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

Candid Camera store.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

Caution May Contain Nuts.

Shoes Make The Man

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."