Existential Joker Pillows

Well, you know what they say? Aspire to inspire before you expire.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Your teacher doesn't mind a little clowning around in class, Eddie, but she thinks you overdo it.'

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Shoes Make The Man

Caution May Contain Nuts.

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."