Eternal Jokers Pillows

"Till death do we part. So technically, you and I are no longer married."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

'He never listened to his mother!'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Watch for Men Being Supid

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

"I took your advice."

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'No cup holder?'

Cemetary memorial shows PIN number never revealed to heirs.

Have a CRAPPY New Year!

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'

Banana Midlife Crisis

Seagull humour.

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

Transporting helium balloons in mid air.

"Then it's agreed. Watson, Smith, Teller, and Wilson go to Heaven; Jones, Paducci, and Horner go to Hell; and Fenton and Miller go to arbitration."