Eternal Jokers Mugs

"Till death do we part. So technically, you and I are no longer married."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

'He never listened to his mother!'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Watch for Men Being Supid

"I took your advice."

How to avoid a heart attack.

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'Nope! Wrong again! Let's try it again... around and around... now which cup is your nitroglycerin tablet under?'

'No cup holder?'

Desert Island Zoom Support Group.

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

Seagull humour.

Banana Midlife Crisis

Cemetary memorial shows PIN number never revealed to heirs.

'You spent all day mashing a can of a hundred baked beans and drawing a little man on them to look like pennies?'

Have a CRAPPY New Year!

"Then it's agreed. Watson, Smith, Teller, and Wilson go to Heaven; Jones, Paducci, and Horner go to Hell; and Fenton and Miller go to arbitration."

Transporting helium balloons in mid air.