Eternal Jokester Mugs

'Go ahead and get a lawyer, but where do you think you'll find one around here?'

Brad Talbot - "Hey, I'm outta here."

When I was young I worked at being hip, now I hope my hip keeps working.

"You're an oaf but we do need more funny people."

"Are you sure you should be on this list?!"

'I want to be buried in the smoking section!'

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

"Of course we allow smartphones, just not thumbs..."

Wet Paint: "I must not touch it....I must not touch it....I must not touch it..."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

'He never listened to his mother!'

The first transatlantic communication.

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

"You idiots … we lost!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'Lift off, we have lift off...'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"