Existential Jokesters Gifts

Banana Midlife Crisis

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"You idiots … we lost!"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

"Is there a humorist in the house?"