Science Jester Gifts

Genetics Department Christmas Dinner

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Intelligent people laugh too!

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

Party Schools...

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

How DNA molecules combine.