Science Jester Gifts

Genetics Department Christmas Dinner

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Intelligent people laugh too!

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

If this plutonium should start to roam,box it's ears and sent it home.