Online Jesters Gifts

"Hold on a second. I'm updating my profile status."

"The first one's just a warning."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

Giggle.

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

Whatcha doing, dad? I'm at work. Logging on. Tree's Tree Nursery.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

'He's just de-man's-best-friended me.'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"Got outta jury duty!"

'He's training for a career in law.'

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

Cyber crime.

Farce Book

Charlie Shared a Post

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

Computer clown.

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

Dried Herbs

"Come on Frank. I didn't mean to catch a bigger fish than you."

'You spend all your time indoors trolling people. In my day we went out doors and mugged someone.'

I agree with you Sadie. It's a total waste. What is? Facebook. It just sucks up your time, with the chatting and the updates and the Scrabble playing. Scrabble? People play on Facebook, or their iPhones, or casual game sites. Total waste. I love Scrabble! Hook baited. Internal conflict!

No, I'm not asking you to declare the witness hostile, you honor. Can you just declare him

'For the last time, this isn't that kind of web and I don't have any funny pictures of cats!'

"I can't live under a bridge, Mom and Dad. I want to be an internet troll."