Classroom Jesters Gifts

'What would you say if I told you that there are no wrong answers, just wrong questions.?'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"I hate performance review season."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

it's back to school time, Frank. I think I have everything I need. I have a new backpack, pens, pencils, erasers, notebooks and, of course, a mask. We don't need those anymore. Speak for yourself. Zzzzzzz.

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'You got everyfink Bruv? Stink bombs, pea shooter, dead frogs . . .'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

"This year, I'm starting school with a positive attitude! You have my word...I'm waiting till the second week of school to call it the worst year of my life."

"I'm not doodling. I'm illuminating my homework."

Jeff hated performance reviews.

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

'That's it? That's your backup plan?'

School of Baristas

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

Just what were you doing in Georgia anyways Hmmm Isn't it true that you were lookin' for a soul to steal Your confession states that you were in a bind cause you were way behind, Care to elaborate, Mr, Seacrest I mean, Lucifer,,

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

"I'm deleting history so there will be nothing to study for tomorrow's history test."