Academic Jesters Gifts

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

"I'm not doodling. I'm illuminating my homework."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

I'm doing poorly, but that's without performance enhancing drugs.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'Hard or soft science?'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

Thomas Carlyle

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Undergraduate and don

How about you? Have you picked a major?

Dept. de Philosophie