School Jesters Gifts

"I'm not a programmer, so the fact that you translated your report card into code makes me a little suspicious."

"I hate performance review season."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Sorry mum, I had a brain freeze during the test...'

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

Student writing on blackboard - I will not egg the principal's car.

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'What's our exit strategy?'

"I'm not doodling. I'm illuminating my homework."

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

'That's it? That's your backup plan?'

School of Baristas

Sign On Door of Dept. Of Neanderthal Literature - Out Eat Back.

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

Homework eating dogs

'It certainly is a big one!'

"Since I'm here so often, and you're redecorating, my favorite color is blue."

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Oh, about your theory - Heisenberg thinks he's found a loophole.'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

'I ran with them once.'