Education Joker Gifts

"Half my students have Post Assessment Stress Disorder."

School. That vocabulary quiz was hard! Did you know how to use "gruesome" in a sentence? It was simple. "The gardener likes flowers so he gruesome."

'You see! I told you there was a school right beneath us!'

Sir, what's the D stand for?

'He thinks he's so superior, just because he's the only one here with 'O' level science.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Intelligent people laugh too!

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

Party Schools...

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"5 second rule!"