Education Joker Pillows

"Half my students have Post Assessment Stress Disorder."

Sir, what's the D stand for?

'He thinks he's so superior, just because he's the only one here with 'O' level science.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

Intelligent people laugh too!

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'It's your four basic food groups.'

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Well, if the test is multiple choice I choose not to take it."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Laboratory: Protons /Electrons/Morons

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Today: The collective unconscious...'

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

'But your book proved that gravity is a very weak force.'

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

Do I get extra credit for neatness?