Back-to-school Joker Pillows

"That's the problem with Easter eggs. My mother thinks they're food."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

Long-legged clown...

Adult Absence Notes.

"I wanna be a clown when I grow up."

Turnkey Totalitarianism

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

'I wish you had chosen a more pertinent educational issue than 'Do Dogs Actually Eat Homework?''

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

'The test results are in. We've ruled out anything cheap.'

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

How do fish get to work?

"Will this global warming mean we'll have longer summer vacations?"

Final Exams Today

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

"Can you believe they're watching the same back-to-school ad?"

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

I wasn't cheating...I was getting a second opinion.

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

'You see! I told you there was a school right beneath us!'

Do I get extra credit for neatness?

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."