Fun-loving Joker Pillows

"That's the trouble these days lad, too many bent coppers in the force."

"I'm fairly sure you're supposed to take them off first."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Batman's Baby

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Santa's Helpers

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Toilet humour

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

Adult Absence Notes.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'