Fun-loving Joker Prints

"That's the trouble these days lad, too many bent coppers in the force."

"I'm fairly sure you're supposed to take them off first."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Well, she certainly is one of our more positive employees!

Santa's Helpers

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Adult Absence Notes.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

Toilet humour

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

No infrastructure problem here

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"