Dog-loving Joker Pillows

'He's had more than a saucerful I know!'

Banana Split...

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

Get crazy once in a while

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Jogging Bottoms

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Teach me not to care."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Toilet humour

Adult Absence Notes.

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here