Pet Joker Pillows

'Dennis, have you seen my can of Pam?'

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

A pony throws its rider.

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

Just another day at Helium Farm

Outback rat house? Darn ! Wish you guys would've said somethin' sooner. I just ate a hop pocket.

Dog responding to his master doing a crossword.

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

'You sure picked a great place to have kittens.'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

"You know, your poker face is useless if you keep wagging your tail."

"Allow me to introduce my wife - she's been giving me the silent treatment since 1982."

"Never mind about star signs what blood group are you"

"Let's see if we can't scatter the trash all over his desktop."

Joe was so poor, his dog was a tumbleweed.

"I'm going out. Do you need any voles?"

"Ever since we got the Border collie, he colors within the lines."

"I was at a party and got some avocado dip in my eye..."

'Polo dear, we're going to play Polo, not Water-Polo...'

"This is a letter from your teacher. Are you seriously eating your own homework?"

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

"I've got a dog licence. Will that do?"

"This old dog can learn new tricks. . . Watch me make this meat loaf disappear!"

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

Kid to dad about pet door on fishbowl: 'It's a dogfish.'

"Just stare up into the corner of the ceiling and growl. It really freaks him out."

Terrierists.

'Great car-chasing scenes!'

'Is he house-broken?'