Animal Jokers Pillows

'Okay,what happened? Who gave you a White eye?'

"This is a letter from your teacher. Are you seriously eating your own homework?"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"The good news is, the side effects of your nut allergy aren't really dangerous."

Outback rat house? Darn ! Wish you guys would've said somethin' sooner. I just ate a hop pocket.

'Looks like the deer are moving out of these woods.'

How to scare cats.

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

'You sure picked a great place to have kittens.'

A man squashed by a giant leaf

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'When did you teach him to play dead?'

'She's no ladybird Stan...' - Ladybird says 'bum...bottom.'

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

"Me? A couple a' drinks and I thought the cat was a squeaky toy..."

'I happened to swallow a bottle of rogaine!'

Groucho Chicken

"Let's see if we can't scatter the trash all over his desktop."

"You know, your poker face is useless if you keep wagging your tail."

Cut down your own tree.

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

Occidental

'Ok Phil, you can stop the trash talk now!'

"I've got a dog licence. Will that do?"

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

Dog spelled backward is GOD, cat is TAC, a pain in the butt.

"Have you ever wondered if there's more to life than this..?"

"Hey, buddy, if it's not too much trouble, I'm getting a little peckish and it's my dinner time." "Wha?! You can talk!!" "I'm just messing with you—woof, woof! Woof! Woof!!"