Animal Jokesters Pillows

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

Hey, Bob, you wanna sign my cast, too?

'Now you know why I piddle in his water dish.'

Dog spelled backward is GOD, cat is TAC, a pain in the butt.

'Ok Phil, you can stop the trash talk now!'

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

Hats and Food

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Scuba cow"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

"I'm concerned. You seem to have catlike reflexes."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"