Dog Jokesters Pillows

'When did you teach him to play dead?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

Dogs texting each other emojis

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

Dog leaving operating theatre in a hurry with a bone in his mouth

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

"Gas was passed, you get the blame, that's the system."

"You're the first dog I've introduced to my parents. I know they're gonna love you."

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

"No, honest, I just sat on a squeaky toy."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

"Who's my good widdoo headless dog?"

Employees Must Lick Themselves Before Returning to Work.

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'